My pent up rage has subsided as the US economy’s drop into 3rd world status has begun to slow. Its time to, Buy! Buy! Buy! Too long have I been walking places, like a chump. I really need to get my hands on something that will allow me to be just as extreme during the summer as I am during the winter. A mountain bike seems like the perfect solution. A computer has also been on my mind. I saw a Windows commercial recently where they sent a woman into the Apple store with a thousand dollars and she couldn’t get anything. Then they sent her to a store with Windows computers and she found exactly what she wanted. Well, I’m not anything like that dumb lady, my purchases represent the distilled essence of cool, so I want to drop a few G’s on an Apple! There are several different schools of thought with regard to these purchases. One school, we will call it the Danny and Ben school, says that if there are 2 expensive items to chose from, buy a cheap version of both. So lets say, for instance, I want to buy a computer and a bike. By the Danny and Ben schools of thought, rather than buy a sick Yeti at around $3600 bucks, or buy a MacBook Pro for about $3100 bucks, I should settle for both at a cheaper price point; say a $1600 Mac Book and a $1500 Specialized Stumpjumper. Both are quality products, but they don’t feel like someone injected them with a syringe full of awesome. The other school, is the Brant school. These school of thought names are scientific, so pay attention. The Brant school of thought is to buy one of the two objects at the high price point. Under this line of thinking, I would end up with a badass bike, say a Yeti 575 or a Specialized Enduro, but would walk away with no computer. Historically, this train of thought has lent itself well to my lifestyle. The problem is that it limits the number of toys in my arsenal, but it maximizes the value of the toys that I do have. The net worth of the toys is the same, but there are half as many. The upside to this train of thought is that every toy feels like it is a sports car, wreathed in flame, driving at 300 miles per hour, being chased by ninjas. Awesome. This is the train of thought that led to my television purchase, as well as all of my skis. All are totally badass, but ridiculously expensive. So, these are my choices. Live by the Danny and Ben school, or the Brant school. It’s a tough choice. One limits the number of areas into which I can spread the light of my awesomeness, but at the same time makes the awesomeness shine with the light of ten thousand suns. The other option allows my awesomeness to spread like the clap though a dorm, but limits the severity of the symptoms. All I can say is this, “Fuck That!”. I’m getting my cake and I’m eating it too, bitches! I’m getting the MacBook Pro and the Yeti 575 (Or Specialized Enduro, I haven’t quite decided that yet, but feel free to weigh in on the decision). To steal a line from Contact, why by 1 when you can by 2 for twice the price. The financial side of my decision to buy both is complicated, with lots of ins and outs. The moral of the story though is that I’m not going to stoop to the lameness of the Ben and Danny school, nor am I going to limit myself as the Brant school would. Instead, I am going to be as fiscally irresponsible as the Bank of America, and get both. Oh, and I’m going to get one of those Apple Notepad computers when they come out. Suck on that irresponsible awesomeness. Who needs to retire, just buy really dangerous toys and use them in an extremely dangerous and life threatening manner. Same thing.