As you all may be aware, I have to study pretty hard in med school. And everyone expects their doctors to be knowledgable and well-read. That being said, most of the medical students I know are lame at best. Definitely not social like I am. Very few of them have ever smoked pot, let alone do other drugs. And one of my friends didn’t get drunk for the first time until he was 23!! HE DIDN’T GET DRUNK IN COLLEGE! So you can imagine how one of my favorite questions to ask people when they first got drunk. I first got drunk and smoked pot both at 13. Thanks peer pressure! But hey, I get shit done now. Fuck you if you don’t think I’ll be a good doctor. I get A’s in med school so kiss my ass. Anyways…a few months ago one of the kids in my class sent this email out to the entire 1st and 2nd year students at my school:
I don’t know who it is, but there is someone (probably more likely a few people) that doesn’t know how to flush a toilet but I (and I am sure everyone else that you go to school with) would appreciate it if you would flush the toilet after having a large bowel movement. This is the 6th time I have gone into a restroom in Smith Hall to blow my nose and/or use the facilities and had to whitness the greusome sight of someone elses bowel movement (not to mention the aroma that ensues from such a disgusting habit). Personally I am quite tired of the elementary antics and I feel that as an adult AND future physician you should grow up and have some respect for those around you. Furthermore, YOUR MOTHER IS NOT HERE TO CLEAN UP AFTER YOU, nor should you excpect the janitorial staff here at KCUMB to fill your mothers place as your personal servant.
Sincerely,
Jeremy R. Brown
For those of you keeping score at home, this douchebag went to CSU for college. I rest my case. My friends and I really couldn’t decide what this guy deserves more, an upper decker or a top shelf. If you don’t know what this is, upper decker is when you take a shit in the back of the toilet where the water is, so that the toilet always fills with shitty water. A top shelf is when you close the lid and take a shit on the top. Both would serve him well. As a totally unrelated side note, thank you Steez for filling me in on what Steez is. I had no idea, but now it’s even more awesome