What’s Jaouen Jonesing For?

As you all may be aware, I have to study pretty hard in med school.   And everyone expects their doctors to be knowledgable and well-read.  That being said, most of the medical students I know are lame at best.  Definitely not social like I am.  Very few of them have ever smoked pot, let alone do other drugs.  And one of my friends didn’t get drunk for the first time until he was 23!!  HE DIDN’T GET DRUNK IN COLLEGE!  So you can imagine how one of my favorite questions to ask people when they first got drunk.  I first got drunk and smoked pot both at 13.  Thanks peer pressure!  But hey, I get shit done now.  Fuck you if you don’t think I’ll be a good doctor.  I get A’s in med school so kiss my ass.  Anyways…a few months ago one of the kids in my class sent this email out to the entire 1st and 2nd year students at my school:

I don’t know who it is, but there is someone (probably more likely a few people) that doesn’t know how to flush a toilet but I (and I am sure everyone else that you go to school with) would appreciate it if you would flush the toilet after having a large bowel movement.  This is the 6th time I have gone into a restroom in Smith Hall to blow my nose and/or use the facilities and had to whitness the greusome sight of someone elses bowel movement (not to mention the aroma that ensues from such a disgusting habit).  Personally I am quite tired of the elementary antics and I feel that as an adult AND future physician you should grow up and have some respect for those around you.  Furthermore, YOUR MOTHER IS NOT HERE TO CLEAN UP AFTER YOU, nor should you excpect the janitorial staff here at KCUMB to fill your mothers place as your personal servant.
Sincerely,
Jeremy R. Brown

For those of you keeping score at home, this douchebag went to CSU for college.  I rest my case.  My friends and I really couldn’t decide what this guy deserves more, an upper decker or a top shelf.  If you don’t know what this is, upper decker is when you take a shit in the back of the toilet where the water is, so that the toilet always fills with shitty water.  A top shelf is when you close the lid and take a shit on the top.  Both would serve him well.  As a totally unrelated side note, thank you Steez for filling me in on what Steez is.  I had no idea, but now it’s even more awesome

BMW is innovative. They have always been at the top of the industry with new ideas and designs. Now, BMW has come out with GENA, their most innovative car yet. GENA is a roadster based on Z8 design. The Z8 is the ridiculously fast roadster that BMW started making about six years ago. It was featured in one of the Bond movies where it was cut in half by some sort of flying saw (what a ridiculous plot line…classic Bond). GENA is different though, it wouldn’t take some absurd flying saw to cut GENA in half, just a utility knife. GENA actually has a skin made of cloth, rather than aluminium (Yeah, I know I spelled it the British way, but I my inner monolog sounds like David Attenborough). BMW engineers found that they could make a car with elegant curves and design, using a space frame structure covered in cloth. The form comes from a series of thin metal ribs which define the contours of the vehicle. These ribs can move too, allowing doors to open and even the spoiler to become more aggressive. The car is just a concept and is not particularly practical. The problem isn’t safety; with modern materials we could make a tricycle safe enough to drive on the interstate. The problem is that you couldn’t park this car. It would constantly require valet parking to keep the skin safe from assholes with utility knives. Think about it, if Mutari had this car, I would cut the skin the first chance I got just to spite him! And I like the guy. Imagine what people who don’t like him would do (remember that cloth is an absorbent material; imagine the fun things you could smear into it). Admittedly, if you can afford to buy a concept car from BMW, then you can probably afford to hire someone to watch it 24/7. I still like the car though; I want one really badly. The curves of this car are so striking that it has an almost organic feel, a direction that I think the entire auto industry should be moving in. Now, if I can just find a paper mache garage to store it in.

Note: I just checked, and Jacob’s plan worked, I am again the number 1 and number 2 hits on Google for Jaouen.

Adsense, you could say I am STEEZIN for it. This blog needs Adsense. When it comes down to it, nobody really knows how google’s logarithm works in ranking pages. Yea there are ways to see how well you are ranked and yea you can pay money to make your page show up on top. In all reality though the logarithm is continuously tweaked and always will be. If you want to be the top search result for a term like ‘Jaouen’, you have to be relevant. In an effort to make this page more relevant to google I am putting some Adsense on this page. (Also I think adding the words Adsense and google to this post a few times might help as well.) I am not going to be all annoying though and put it at the top, bottom, and sides of the page layout. I am just going to put some here-


And a little
HERE


So, if you can see the Adsense on this post it means google’s spiders have crawled this page and will more often in the future.

Also if you can see this Adsense, please comment on what it was for because I like to see the variety of stuff that comes up. Next, click it and check it out, click through and all that jazz. Third download firefox and the Adblock add-on because Adsense if annoying as hell.

It’s no secret that I love skis. I own 4 pairs of them currently, although I typically only ride on 2 of those pair, with the other 2 pair reserved for rocks days. My weapons of choice, Line Sir Francis Bacons designed the Eric Pollard. This year I’m looking for a powder ski to add to my arsenal. The front runner in my search is the EP Pro, from Line. The EP Pro, designed by Eric Pollard, is a 185 cm beast, boasting slightly asymmetric 153/127/150 dimensions. What does that mean in English? They are wide, really really wide. They are essentially 2 very narrow snowboards. They also have reverse camber. For those of you who don’t speak ski, reverse camber means that instead of the skis having a natural downward curvature, the curvature is upward. This allows the skis to float in powder. The skis look cool too, which is a must. It’s no surprise though, Line skis typically have the coolest graphics in the industry, many of which are based on paintings by Eric Pollard. Check out the gallery at Lifelounge for more of Eric’s (and his wife’s) work, or cruise over to Josh Bryant’s ski shop, Jibij, for a preview of the entire line of Line skis for this season. 5 Months till ski season!