What’s Jaouen Jonesing For?

Bruce Lee vs Chuck Norris   <——-    this video is awesome

As we age through our 20’s, we all find ourselves busier as the days go by.  At least most of us.  If you are not busy, there are two possible scenarios. 1) You are not doing shit with your life, and if so…get your shit together.  Or, 2) You have a better life than I do, and you must be having a good time.  If that is true, Go Fuck Yourself.  The point is, as we all get busier, it is the finer things that allow us to relax and enjoy life when we are most stressed.  For me, I find great comfort in the world of sports.  As you all likely are aware, I live and die with Colorado sports, except for those butt pirates down in Ft. Collins.  CSU can suck a goat’s nuts.  So I write these words in deep despair and emotional paralysis over the current state of Colorado sports.  This week, we as Colorado sports fans have suffered one of our worst periods in recent memory.  For those of you keeping score at home, here’s the tally:  First, the Nuggets lost AGAIN in the first round of the playoffs, even after a 50-win season.  We didn’t just lose, we got swept.  And who did we lose to?  Kobe and the Rape-ettes.  God I hate that guy.  In the words of my father, “I fucking hate Kobe.”  Next, the Avs lost in the second round.  Once again, we didn’t just lose, we got swept.  And I believe that is 9 STRAIGHT LOSSES in the 2nd round of the playoffs for the Avs.  And of course we lost to those fucking communists from Detroit.  And not just 1-0.  The last game was an 8-2 beatdown.  Two sweeps in one week.  That’s like meeting a beautiful woman at the bar, going home with her, and getting cock-blocked by her bitch of a roommate.  You don’t get another chance until next season, and all you can do is be pissed off about your monumental letdown.  Don’t give me that, “You made the playoffs so be happy” bullshit.  Anyone who says that has never had a team make the playoffs.  And then, the week gets worse when we find out that Troy Tulowitzki has torn a tendon in his quad that will keep him out until after the All-Star break.  FUCK!  And the final blow comes when the news breaks that Jay Cutler has been diagnosed with Diabetes.  Come on, after a while this shit just starts to be cruel.  I wanna know, who is responsible for all this?  Who is to blame for all that we have been forced to accept?  Personally I think it’s that damn Jay Feder.  I don’t know how, but somehow part of this has to be his fault.   So I write these words, clearly in a state of frustration, and general anger.  Whoever is to blame for all of this, I feel obligated as a member of Colorado sportsnation to inform you of what must be done.  For causing the Sportsfans of Colorado so much anguish, you need to get what you have coming to you.  Line up, so I can kick you in the balls.  I can’t take much more of this, and I need to inflict suffering on something.  Who’s with me?