What’s Jaouen Jonesing For?

After nearly 26 years of living on the line of cool and lame, I have found a way of getting off the fence. A skateboard. I have decided that a skateboard may be dangerous enough to suit my lifestyle, and cool enough to make me hip again. I have no doubt that I will be able to find incredibly interesting new ways to cover my body in scraps and bruises, and with any luck, I will get a hospital visit out of the deal. There was some discussion as to what type of board to get. Seeing the guys in skateboard competitions grind rails and get big air had me looking very closely at a freestyle board. After about an hour of discussing the topic with various people, our friend over at Airek Publius convinced me that, despite my best efforts to convince myself otherwise, I am tall, gangly and too old to learn to freestyle board. After having my dreams of X-Games gold so brilliantly dashed away, I decided to go with the longboard. I will be searching for the perfect board over the next few weeks. As I have almost no experience with skating, the performance doesn’t matter to me so much as looking awesome. If you see a board worth buying, let me know (I really like the one, by Element, pictured).

There are a number of horrible hallmark holidays out there. These holidays are shameless money making schemes for card manufactures and chocolate makers (I’ve got my eye on you, Wonka). I’m talking about father’s day, Valentines Day, and Earth Day to name just a few. These holidays are the result of clever marketing and a need to pacify the mob. We are forced to celebrate these holidays because nobody wants to say, “Sorry honey, Valentines day is a crock of shit so I didn’t get you anything.” It is in this way that corporate holidays have become a mainstay of American culture. There is one holiday that dares to break the mould. A holiday that no religion or marketing monster would dare create. A holiday created by the people, for the people. A holiday called 420. Some say it was started by a small band of hippies that wanted a break from the drudgery of smoking their drugs in their mothers’ basements. Others say that it was the late visionary Jerry Garcia who started the holiday. Regardless of the origins however, this holiday is a celebration of the reefer. Although 420 is recognized around the world as a pseudo-holiday, in few places is there more support than my own stomping ground of Boulder. Every year festivities ensue on campus as thousands of students gather for this fantastic ode to a drug that makes everyone apathetic.

In years past, The Man has done his best to quell the mob. Past strategies have included, but are not limited to, turning on the sprinklers, using riot police to intimidate the mob, use of hidden cameras to capture images of drug offenders, and waterboarding. Last year though, things went off without a hitch. It is possible that the university just can’t think of any effective way to stop the festivities. It is possible however, that the university recognizes the pressure placed on students in an ever more competitive world. It may be easier to let the students “have their Tar-Tar sauce” than to deal with a student body that feels oppressed by work and by an unreasonable administration. Whatever the reasons, this years 420 celebration (which regrettably I did not witness) attracted 10,000 people to the Norlin Quad at CU. Police were again present that the festivities, but this year they made absolutely no attempts to stop the party. At 4:20 a cloud of smoke rose from the crowd and not a single ticket was issued. Police later stated that 20 police were no match for a mob of 10,000 potheads. They were simply there to keep the peace. It is difficult for me to applaud the actions of any police force, let alone the Boulder police. I have made a sport of hating the very air that they breathe. For once they have done well, by doing nothing at all. Congratulations BPD, you handled a situation with cool minds and dignity, keep it up!